15 January 2013

Stay-at-home Mom= Not Successful

I've always had this idea in my head that I wanted to accomplish something great with my life. I wanted people to look at me and think, "Wow, she is a successful woman--she's smart, she's educated, she has a great career, blah blah blah." I also had this idea in my head that if I chose to be a stay-at-home mom, people would think I was wasting my education by changing diapers, talking baby language, and reading children's books. Most of all, I was afraid  people would look at me and feel sorry for me--feel sorry that I passed up so many opportunities to do something more exciting with my life. Maybe they might even think I was oppressed, lazy, or not an equal partner with my husband. Who knows what "they" might think. So, with all these fears running around in my head about my preconceived notions of how others viewed my role as a wife and mother, I felt lost. Jabs from media, politics, feminism, and my own misunderstandings didn't help either. They didn't help me find my own personal approach to motherhood. Only I could do that.

After completing a semester of grad school, and now having the opportunity to be home with Miranda full-time, I feel like I am starting to find my way in this foreign land called Motherhood. I've only barely scratched the surface of figuring things out, but one thing I have finally let go is what "they" think. Whether I choose to keep pursuing a Master's Degree, have a career, or continue as a stay-at-home mother, I will always be successful in my own way because I love my family. The happiness and success I have with my family will always be my biggest triumph.

For now, I am enjoying being at home with Miranda. Well, actually, we try to get out of the house as much as possible (for the sake of both of our sanity). We go to libraries, museums, the NCSU campus, walks around the neighborhood, and whatever else seems fun for us to do. Although I am enjoying a break from school, I was a little bummed that I wasn't learning anything new from being in a class...until I had the epiphany that I can learn anything I want right now. So, I checked out some books on interior design and am learning how to spruce up our home. Maybe i'll start playing the guitar and writing songs again. So many fun things to learn and do. I'm glad I can have my daughter with me while I do it.

At the Natural Science Museum in Raleigh.
Aunt Bronte came to visit us!
A butterfly landed on Miranda's foot in the butterfly exhibit.
On a nature hike at Raven Rock State Park.

Miranda trying to grab the camera on our hike.

Lorin, Bronte, and Miranda on the hike.

Miranda as dinosaur bait. 

Pirate Miranda at the North Carolina Museum of History.

Miranda likes pearls more than museums. 
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  1. What a good post! It is true, there are so many judgments on being a mom! It really doesn't matter if you stay at home or work, people always have something to say. I worked many years as a mommy and now am at home. I'll tell you what, being at home is no walk in the park! I do miss the energy of corporate America though! I am happy that I can be at home during these monumental times in my children's lives. That is one con to working; I was always missing them and sometimes little milestones. Good luck on whatever you do :)

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Bianca! I remember during school last semester, my husband Lorin would tell me about something new Miranda did while I was in class. I would be really excited but a little bummed that I didn't see it firsthand. Now I get that opportunity every day. It is pretty awesome!

  2. I think you are a genius. I've very much admired all that you have accomplished in your life. I mean you became a professor like a week after you graduated from college! =) I have to admit, I was a little jealous! But happy for you all the same. All I will say is this... Education opportunities are always there. Universities are always there. But Miranda will only be a baby once. I'm glad you are doing everything you can to enjoy that. I'm proud of you for doing both. It takes a brave women and no one worthwhile will look down on you for what you are doing. =)

    1. You are awesome, Ashley. Thank you so much. You are so right about Miranda only being a baby once. I am so grateful that I have this time with her. I'm so glad I have great mom examples like you to look up to.

  3. woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!!!!!

  4. It's hard to not listen to the very loud voices of the world, and they are the ones who say, "You're a failure. You're only a mom." Well, if the world today had more "only moms", it would be a far better place. So please listen to your heart and enjoy doing what the Lord would have you do. Miranda will grow up in security and love, and with lots of great "home trainin'". :) And just for the record for all those losers---being a good mom is the hardest job in the world! And you're doing it well.... :)

  5. Great Post! You are awesome. You have to do whatever is right for you and your family. What is right for one person may not be right for another, even though it can be pretty easy to compare yourself to other people. Enjoy the time you have with Miranda right now because down the road you may have to be away from her.

  6. I love this post. I too, had to do what I felt was right, and for me, I had to quite teaching. I was SOO overwhelmed trying to prepare for a long-term sub then figure out how long of maternity leave to take then to leave my baby every day, and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do both well: brand new first time mom and teacher (first time teacher too!). SO I decided that my job as a mom was of greater importance. Honestly, I was really sad about losing many of the things that I loved about teaching, but...you make your choice and then you adapt! Now, my baby is 10 months old. I have started teaching art lessons from my home and it has been so fun! I am proud of you for seeking learning while making your family your priority.

  7. Great Post. I found you on Bloggy Moms. In my opinion, do what makes you happy now. Having a child is difficult, but not impossible. Believe me, you will not regret staying home and enjoying those baby years. I did it and am now a working mom (my son is 6) and I would definitely go back to being a SAHM if I could in an instant. Do what makes you happy and what you feel is right. Oh and I am now following thorough Google Friend Connect,


  8. Thanks so much for reading, Ida! I think I've finally found what feels right for me. I love being a stay-at-home mom (even those days when I question my sanity).


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