01 March 2013

Commitment Issues

Well, I guess it's goodbye to grad school and hello to a long-term commitment of being a stay-at-home mom. Scary.

Aren't making big steps like this a little scary for just about anyone? Making this decision has been a long process, and now that I've decided, it marks a big milestone for me. I put this decision right up there with deciding to marry Lorin and making the decision to have our first baby.

When I graduated with my undergraduate degree, I never planned on continuing on to grad school. However, after a year of teaching English at BYU-Idaho, I decided that getting a Master's Degree was something that I wanted to do. I wanted to continue teaching college English because I loved it.

My first semester of grad school was interesting. I loved learning, but at the same time I wasn't happy with the direction I was going. I found myself becoming very indecisive about what I really wanted to do with my life. I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay at home with Miranda, or if I wanted to continue on towards a career in teaching. Looking back now, I was just scared. I think, deep down, I knew what I wanted to do, but I wasn't ready to make a commitment to being a stay-at-home mom yet. For me, I needed to see both paths that my life could potentially go down.

I feel really lucky that I was able to experience both roads before making my decision. I feel grateful for such an understanding and supportive husband for letting me just do my thing and figure things outeven if it meant thousands of dollars in student loans.

It's funny, the moment I decided to defer from school and stay home with Miranda, things finally felt right. Three months later, I still feel good about being at home with her, so grad school and I are parting ways. If I wanted to be in grad school I could. If I wanted to get my Master's Degree, I would. But I don't want it right now. What I want is to stay home with my little girl and open a new chapter in my life.

I've been going to school for as long as I can remember. School is comfortable and familiar to me. Making the choice to step into a long-term career/the unknown can be intimidating.

But I'm doing just fine.


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10 comments:

  1. I bet that was a hard decision! Im sure you'll succeed in either direction, but I bet baby Miranda will be forever grateful to have had her Momma home with her these years!

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    1. It was a really hard decision for me, and I am glad I can just move forward now. I just hope I don't turn her into a crazy person. Thank you so much for your support!

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  2. Good plan, Sarah. You can always decide to go back and get your degree, but if you and Lorrin can afford for you to be a stay-at-home momma, then that's fantastic. PS- you are hilarious and I miss you. I wish we didn't live so far apart!

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    1. You are right, Britney. I always have the opportunity to get a Master's Degree. Also, if you were here, Miranda would have already been to her first Weezer concert. I miss hanging out with you too!

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  3. I'm proud of your for doing what feels right. I admire you for the mom that you are AND because you are smart and educated. Plus, you don't have to be officially in school to keep learning, which I'm sure you will always do! :)

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    1. Thanks so much, Amy! I'm definitely going to keep learning. Miranda teaches me something new every day, and it's nice that I can also pick up a book and learn something new whenever I want.

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  4. An incredibly courageous and selfless decision. It will be challenging, discouraging, sublime, joyfull and ultimately rewarding, and one you will never regret!

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    1. Thank you so much! And thank you for all the good advice. I really needed and appreciated it.

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  5. We are very proud that you are your own woman. To look at both sides and choose what's best for you and your family is what Dad and I tried our best to raise you to do. Enjoy every moment you have because the day will come when you turn around to see Miranda graduate from college and wonder how the time could go by so quickly. You have walked both paths so you never will regret the choice you made.

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    1. Thanks so much, Mom. You and Dad have always been so supportive of me. Thank you for all the long talks. I can barely wrap my mind around the fact that Miranda will be a year old next month! You are right. Everything goes by so quickly.

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