15 March 2013

In Marriage, There Are Just Some Lines You Don't Cross

I think we all know that every marriage is different. What may be OK in one marriage is way off limits in another. I'm not talking about the big limits, just the little ones (because the little ones all add up).The important thing is that each spouse is respectful of those limits. For example, in the Baird household here are some things that are off limits:

-Tickling Sarah while she is holding the baby
-Scaring Lorin while he is in the shower
-Tickling Lorin or tapping on his face when he is half asleep or asleep (I know, I can be WAY annoying sometimes)
-Licking Sarah's face after she says to stop (Ok, I know this sounds gross, but it's pretty much Lorin's only leverage since he is WAY ticklish and I'm not)
-Right before sitting down to watch a movie, Sarah decides she needs to clean something (I would seriously do this all the time and didn't even know it bothered Lorin until he told me)

Hey, even Miranda has limits and we try to be respectful of things that bother her too (like making sure she is not in the room where I am vacuuming because she hates the sound).

The reason Lorin and I even know about each other's limits is because we talk about it. Every couple weeks (usually not planned) Lorin and I have a type of spouse inventory. We just talk about specific things we feel the other is doing great on. Then, we talk about specific things that have been bothering us. Thus, limits are born. We always walk away feeling good about ourselves, each other, and our marriage. We are not perfect, so talks like this really help.

What are some limits that you have in your family? How do you let your family know about your limits?

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  1. Hah! I'm so paranoid in the shower, too! Must be a Baird thing?

  2. Limits are so important. For us, they include things that you just don't joke about. Patrick knows to NEVER tease me about my weight, how much I eat, etc. And I never tease him about being short.

    Tickling is TOTALLY off-limits to Patrick and I. We both realllly hate it. So, that's nice!

    Yep, communication is HUGE. Cause guess what--your spouse can't read your mind! Shocker, I know.

  3. What a great and productive idea! Are you sure you didn't major in psychology ;)? For my husband, I know he likes my full attention when he is talking. Sometimes I find myself organizing, paying bills or some sort of multitasking while he is talking. It's a big pet peeve of his and I don't always recognize when I'm doing it. I like my space. I am with kids all day who are always laying on me and once the hubby comes home, I like to have my body to myself for a moment. My husband is very cuddly and likes to have his arms around me at the couch and sit RIGHT next to me. Sometimes I just like a little peace and quiet and space :)

    1. Thanks Bianca! I think everyone does things that bother their spouse in one way or another. A lot of the times the other person has no idea. This is why talking about it is so important.

  4. This is such a good idea!! I have never heard of it before, but will definitely be trying it!!

  5. SO funny! I laugh at your because I know what our's are too, and they are ridiculous too! =) You are so clever to write all these things in your blog. You are a champion blogger! =) Lorin is a lucky guy that you don't cross his limits. The cleaning right before a movie one made me laugh out loud because that's totally me. I usually just miss the first half. =)

  6. It's funny, I have lived the relationship where you don't talk about the little things that bother you, until they all add up to one huge thing that causes you to walk out on the whole thing. It's difficult to start a conversation like that because I'm terrified of hurting the other person's feelings, but by keeping quiet I just send myself crazy.

    1. Sometimes it is way hard to tell the other person that something is bothering you. I definitely know what you mean. For me, it is not my personality type to confront someone if they have done something that bothers me. But through this little inventory that Lorin and I do, we create an environment where both of us feel comfortable with talking about these types of things. If you confront them in the right way (with love), you don't need to be afraid of hurting their feelings.

  7. Thank you for linking up at the weekend bloglovin hop. ☺

    Iris♥ @ The BlueBirdhouse

  8. Thanks for sharing this @ The Show Off Blog Party! I think my hubby and I tend to annoy each other with our idiosyncrasies too. He sometimes complaines like a woman and he hates that I ignore him when he does. LOL!

    The Wondering Brain

  9. Hey Sarah....You know I love your blog! Great post. Hope you guys are well.


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