18 July 2013

Just Say No to Dates

"So, do you want to go out again sometime?"

What I should have answered: "No."

What I did answer: "Sure...that sounds great."

I thought that maybe after a week this guy would set his sights on another girl, and I could try and forget about all the sweat he flung on me while twirling me around the dance floor that night.

To my dismay, he did NOT forget. For the next couple weeks, I avoided his texts, phone calls, and almost awkward run-ins on campus. I had pretty much put myself on my own sort of witness protection program. Why didn't I just tell him the truth? I didn't want to go out with him.

This wasn't the first time this happened either. Sometimes, I would even go on dates numerous times with guys I wasn't interested in.

Why did I do this? Because I was too scared to hurt their feelings. Lame...I know.

The thing is, I know I'm not the only one with this problem. Guys and girls both do this. We don't want to hurt the other person's feelingsbut we hurt their feelings in the end anyway (especially when the guy has forked out a bunch of money to take out a girl that isn't interested in him).

Then, I had an epiphany one day. How about if I don't want to go out with someone, I just say so! Wow, that is some serious revelation!

To tell you the truth, I was really nervous the first time I said no (just so you know, I did this tactfully). Surprisingly, each time I turned down a date, the guy was really appreciative that I was up front with him.

Yes, this did mean spending many Friday and Saturday nights getting caught up on homework or hanging out with roommates, but I was just fine with that.

Well, when Lorin came along and asked me out on a date, guess what I said?


Well, I didn't say it exactly like that. I turned him down because I had a boyfriend at the time.

But eventually the boyfriend was out of the picture, and after swooning over Lorin every time I saw him on campus, my roommates encouraged me to take matters into my own hands and ask him out.

So I did.

And he said, "Let me check my schedule," after which, he said, "Yes."

Guys: What do you think about my "Just Say No to Dates" policy? How do you feel about girls being up front with you?

Ladies: Have you ever had to put yourself in the dating witness protection program? What was your experience?

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  1. tactful honesty... good policy
    wonderful post - great for "beginning daters"

    1. Thanks, Mom. I really wished I would have learned this when I first started dating.

  2. What an adorable story! You're very good at telling stories!


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