04 July 2013

Why I Smashed a Hole in the Wall of the WIC Office

"She isn't gaining enough weight."

"You need to wake her up at night and nurse her every two hours because her weight isn't keeping up with the chart's averages."

"Wow! Your baby is 4 months? She is so little!"

"When you compare your child's weight and height with the averages on the charts, you can see that she isn't measuring up like she should."

And that's when I grew five feet, burst out of my clothes to reveal my green, muscular exterior, took Miranda in my arms and smashed through the wall of the WIC office to get back to the car instead of using the glass door.

I wanted to rip up those stupid charts with the dots and lines that didn't even make sense to me. Miranda was happy, eating well, and gaining weight (just not at the rate the infamous charts wanted).

As Miranda got older, I remember looking up important milestone charts online or seeing other babies and wondering why Miranda wasn't doing this or doing that yet.

I then decided that the worrying and comparing had to stop. Miranda would do things in her own time.

And you know what? She did. I just had to be patient.

Through all of this I discovered that yes, I needed to watch how Miranda was progressing developmentally and physically, but comparing her to other children or expecting her to walk at 9 months just wasn't practical.

All children are different and will develop in their own way.

I wish I would have realized that before smashing a gaping hole into a wall of the WIC office.

Question: This was one of the struggles that I had to get past with being a mom. What is a struggle that you were able to conquer and learn from with becoming a mom? 

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6 comments:

  1. I was the same way with my first 2. All 3 of my kids have been physically behind, although all of them have measured big. Finally, I realized that it was actually sort of awesome that my kids weren't walking when they turned 1, etc. But WIC can just be horrible sometimes. Don't listen to them. Honestly, in a few years, you can't tell who was ahead when they were babies. When they're 5 it doesn't matter who walked at 9 months and who walked at 18 months. Over time I've learned to just let go of a lot of things.

    And I totally would have Hulk-style smashed through the WIC office, too, had I been in your shoes. No judgement here.

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    1. You know exactly what I mean, Heather! You are right, it really doesn't matter which babies reached what milestone at whatever age. With moving from Idaho to North Carolina, I've found that doctors have differing opinions on what Miranda needs. Some say she needs more iron, others say I needs more Vitamin D. When she was first born, the hospital said she was jaundiced, then, the pediatrician said she was fine. So, I've learned to just take everything with a grain of salt. If there is something seriously wrong, then I'll pay attention to it. But all this little nonsense...not so much.

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  2. Funny, I had a son who's teacher told me in 7th grade that he shouldn't be so interested in Math. "It's not normal for a 7th grader to take Algebra.

    I look back now and wonder where he would be today if I would have listened.

    I got very angry and told her to learn to teach math or choose a new subject ....She chose art.

    He chose Math and Physics.

    Your kids will be fine in spite of the world. Just keep on keeping on!!

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    1. Hmmm...sounds like a familiar story! It's pretty hard to imagine a teacher being so dense. I would think a teacher would be happy to have someone so young interested in math. I would be angry too! So, I consider myself a pretty patient person, but when those WIC ladies kept telling me how Miranda wasn't measuring up all the time, I would get SO mad. Lorin would have to prepare me before every appointment by saying, "Just don't listen to anything they say. Just smile and nod, and then forget everything on the way out because they don't know what they are talking about." That was some great advice, and it got me through those appointments. As you know, Miranda is doing just fine (just like she was before).

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  3. Thank you. This post means so much to me. I struggled daily with my daughter not following the pack with her development, and I have wanted to smash a few walls in too. The way I look at it now is she's healthy, she's happy, that's all I need to know.

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    1. I am so glad that you understand what I am talking about. You are absolutely right about your daughter being healthy and happy. I had lots of friends tell me not to worry about it. With chart averages, there have to be kids that are above and below those averages in order for there to be averages in the first place, right? I learned not to worry about it too.

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