31 May 2014

Junior High and Becoming a Parent aren't that Different

"I don't even know who I am anymore." I said this phrase SO many times within the first year of Miranda's life.

Before Miranda was born, I felt like I had myself figured out pretty well. I defined myself by my personality, education, faith, music, hobbies, family, ect. All these things worked together to make up Sarah Baird. Then I popped out a baby.

Things changed, and they changed a lot.

Life changed so much that I wasn't sure if I even knew who I was anymore. This wasn't so much of a terrible thing as it was confusing and at times frustrating. I felt like that awkward, braced-faced, thick eyebrowed junior higher again, trying to feel pretty, make friends, and have fun.

I just wasn't sure how my old self fit in with this new, mom self.

Well, Miranda is now two years old, and I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with this rediscovering myself thing. I'm finding that I can still be who I was before and discover even more cool things about myself because I'm a mom.

Some of these things you might be able to relate to and others are specific to me, but here are some things that helped me get my groove back:

  1. Getting a jobI really enjoy working. For some people, this isn't their thing, but for me, I like interacting, helping, and working with other people. Work is something that challenges me and gives me good goals to work toward. 
  2. Questioning and reevaluating my beliefs (not just my faith, but political beliefs as well as other beliefs)Raising Miranda has made me really question the things I believe in because I want to teach her things that are right and don't want to lead her in a wrong direction. I also want to create a strong foundation for her to build upon as she grows and chooses what she believes. I want her to grow up to be a good person. I am definitely still on a journey with this one, so I don't feel like it is the right time to go into detail on the blog about this, but I feel like good things have come out of my discoveries.
  3. Making an effort to make and hang out with friendsI think this one was one of the biggest game changers for me. Lorin and I have one car, and he uses it to go to work every day. We both decided that I would not have the car during the day to save money. I would still get out once in a while to hang out with my girlfriends, but I would mostly be at home with Miranda. Well, after a year of doing this, staying at home got lonely and sometimes depressing. Lorin noticed that I was having a hard time, so we decided that something needed to change. Well, now I get the car a couple days a week and drop Lorin off at school. Miranda and I go on lots of play dates with other moms and their kids. Friends are so, so, so important as a mom. I'm not talking about interacting with friends over social media, but face-to-face interaction. It's great for Miranda too. She loves hanging out with her baby friends. I've found that spending a little extra money for some sanity is definitely worth the cost. 
  4. Cultivating new (and old) hobbiesWhen you have a baby, you will find that some of your hobbies do not mix so well with a baby around. For example, I love dancing. Before I had Miranda, I did ballet and Latin dance. I thought dance was a lost cause after having a baby, but two years later, I've come to find that I can still dance. I just modified things a bit. I like to turn on YouTube and do some ballet with Miranda in our living room for exercise. On family nights, Lorin, Miranda and I will turn on music and Latin dance it up. Yeah, dancing is not the same, but I've come to be OK with how things are right now. Maybe in the future I'll have the opportunity to take classes again, but for now, I'm content with the progress I've made. I have also found that if I change my approach to cultivating my hobbies, I can still play guitar, do yoga, garden, and sew. The biggest thing I've learned about hobbies is that I have to be willing to modify how I do things so Miranda is entertained. Things are not always ideal (like Miranda screaming and pounding on my guitar when I want to practice), but at least I can still do the things I love and have fun with Miranda at the same time. 
I feel like I'm figuring things out more and more as Miranda gets older. For you new moms out there who feel like you are in junior high again and trying to figure life out, know that getting the hang of things just takes time and a lot of patience. I think the best way to start getting your groove back is to reach out to others and make friends. Call someone up and plan to go out and do something together (with or without babies). If you feel like you don't have friends, take your baby to the park and meet people. Sometimes making that first step to get out of the house is hard, but when you do, you will be so glad you did. 

Question: Did you have to get your groove back after becoming a mom? How did you do it?

Follow on Bloglovin

No comments:

Post a Comment

What are your thoughts, my friends?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Share This